Winstons noted some time ago that the “Daily News of the Star” comics were problematic. As obscene as they were, and as easy as it is to emulate the horrifying parody of news that they propagate, it’s impossible to outdo actual, printed headlines, impossible to be more monstrous, outrageous or ludicrous. The Daily Express once ran the headline: “Did Diana driver have bird flu?” There is simply no way to lampoon such a line.

The headline in today’s Sun reads: “Jade Spoke To Me Through Psychic”

The “exclusive” panel on the comics, and the all of the nascent concepts in the same vein that we had planned all involved death. This was a simple joke built upon the premise that the tabloids approach to celebrity reporting is best described, in my opinion, by the word “ghoulish”. While I’m well aware that in many cases the attention derived is of mutual benefit, that certain celebrities are complicit in their own exposure, there is a tremendous amount of zeal and glee with which the tabloids set about the task of stripping a person of their privacy and dignity.

I was, at the time concerned that these jokes went too far, but Winstons believed, correctly as proven by that paragon of journalism, The Sun, that we simply did not go far enough.

Firstly, we offered to do a comic for bi-monthly community Blood Bowl magazine, The Orca Cola Gazette. The chaps over there run an extraordinarily organised tournament that as far as I can see represents the cream of the current community leagues. I for one know I’ll be vying for a place in it just as soon as I work out which end of a Minotaur one wields.

This fortnights offering: The Dangers Of Sustained Play

I shall find somewhere appropriate about the site in which to ensconce these fairly targeted comics (similarly I’m going to upload all the old WoW comics at some juncture), that let us indulge our current obsession without overly encroaching on the main comic. I’m pretty sure that for most people the vagaries of the block dice system is not a top subject for humour.

Secondly, through Kate Beaton’s wonderful webcomic I have just discovered another: Dresden Codak, one of the few that I’ve sat down and read right through. It’s always amazing to see free media surpass professional output, and I have to say this is one of the better comics I’ve read, with no caveats or exceptions. Check it out!

I don’t like fast food. Not so much the food in itself, I am quite prone to the occasional McCravings and actually quite enjoy certain meals. It’s more the apparent glittering array of options presenting upon the magical glowing board. What will I have? Can this be combined with other delicious options, magically reducing its cost? I’m thrust into a world of simple maths and food based indecision, all with a queue forming behind me and an expectant attendant awaiting a response.

Nevertheless, in my ongoing mission, to seek out new meals and not hate them I ventured forth to Subway, which is actually quite a short distance away.

The Sub of Yesterday was turkey/ham, which is not at first glance the most exciting of meats, but in combination with every feasible optional extra is was pretty damned awesome. As part of two individual special offers, combined with a cookie and coke it rounded off to a delicious meal at a reasonable price.

So thrilled was I with the meaty feast, that I went back today.

The Sub of Today was some sort of suspicious looking meatball based affair, and while it looked interesting in an “I’m pretty sure I’ve never eaten anything like that” sense, a meal deal poster caught my eye. The Reggae Reggae Chicken Sub. I’d have to check, but I’d venture a guess that calling spiced chicken Reggae is a misuse of the term, to use it twice in the description is a general misuse of the language. And so I ordered it largely on the basis that I wanted to make this joke to the staff, who were visibly unimpressed.

I once ate a can of something I was given as part of a Christmas hamper that called itself chicken flavoured chicken, purely so I could tell people what it tasted like. This experience, or rather the one that quickly followed it should probably have taught me that “comedy” is not a good criteria for food based decisions.

The Reggae Reggae Chicken Sub tasted fine, I would even go so far as nice if the over all experience hadn’t been slightly harrowing. The Honey Oat 6” sub had been sliced clean through, which meant, packed as it was with what is apparently enough vegetation to count among my five-a-day, each bite would see vast amounts of the sandwich exit the other end. Added to this, the suggested “ranch” sauce was almost pure liquid, and was spilling out in every direction. I must have looked like some sort of troll as I furrowed among the wrappings for sauce drenched sweetcorn, in between large ungainly bites that would spill further contents onto the grease proofed container.

I still have hopes for Subway filling my lunch ritual, I’m willing to write Reggae Reggae off as a poor menu choice, to go back to Subway with the optimism brought on by turkey/ham and see what experience the Sub of Tomorrow will bring.

Just how did that happen?

We’ve been debating whether the one-a-weekday format is such a fine idea.

On the one hand, such a punishing schedule risks any quality we may have cobbled together. Aside from bacon based randomness, which just make me giggle involuntarily, I’d like to believe we haven’t used any filler material yet, but up against a given wire the temptation is often there to use any old nonsense.

On the other, I rather like the challenge of it, of finding something to amuse each day. At least I do most days. Certainly from my side ideas appear at random and without warning from the darker recesses of my brain, not a process conducive to a deadline, and one that is particularly ineffective in this sudden summer heat. I brain bad now.

Perhaps bacon is the key. Random silliness a few times a week to curb the anxiety. The world always needs more bacon.

If you’re reading this in the spanking and quite new Google Chrome browser, you are no doubt wincing at the unpleasant manner in which the sites fonts have been rendered.

We are aware of the problem, but not currently how to fix it (our technical chap works largely with Macs), hopefully we’ll be able to resolve soon!

Personally I blame everyone but me.